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June 2014

Book Note: Fractured by Teri Terry

I just spent a good chunk of time, browsing through all of the book notes I've written since I first started blogging.
 
 
But in all of them, dare I confess that I have written only one book note about a sequel? And that was, heaven forgive me, New Moon.
 
That's fairly sad, considering I have some strong opinions on quite a few of the sequels/trilogies I've read. Like, why didn't I blog about what I thought of the rest of the Twilight series? Or the way that The Hunger Games trilogy ended—how, despite quite a few people being frustrated and/or disappointed by the end, I actually thought it was perfect. The Chaos Walking series? or the Birthmarked trilogy?
 
Alas, no.
 
But as this year I am making a concerted effort to write a book note about every book I read, and as I just finished a sequel, here I am, writing. About a sequel. And I am a little bit stressed because I've never done this before! Do I write assuming you've read the first book? How do I write about plot points in the second book without also writing a spoiler about the first?
 
Hmmmm.
 

FracturedFractured is the second book in the Slated trilogy by Teri Terry. This is a dystopian trilogy based on the concept of terrorism, with the idea that while terrorists' actions are obviously wrong, what if their motivations aren't? (Read my book note on the first book, Slated, here.) Fractured picks up right where Slated ended, with our protagonist Kyla trying to come to grips with her friend Ben's—well, we aren't really sure if he disappeared or if he is dead. She's not certain who she can trust, either within her family or at school. So she sort of flounders for awhile. Excellent, floundering characters are my favorite!
 
Maybe this is why I haven't written about sequels: sometimes the middle book of a trilogy feels a little bit slow. You know the world so it doesn't have that newness anymore, but usually the main character is trying to deal with the repercussions of the previous drama, which is building up to whatever Big Thing will happen in the last book. So a second book is sometimes a little bit slow.
 
I wouldn't say Fractured is technically slow, but it's definitely a novel of transitions and connections, as Kyla begins figuring out some things about herself. The vague memories that resurfaced in the first book begin to take a more definite shape, and through her discussions with Nico (the erstwhile biology teacher at her school, who really happens to be the terrorist who was in charge of her training back before she was slated) she learns bits and pieces of her past.
 
But only really what Nico wants her to learn.
 
Her reaction to Nico is very strange. She is slavishly responsive to nearly everything he asks her to do, as he pushes her boundaries of what is right and wrong. She isn't really aware of how empty and slavish her response is to him, but we are as readers. He feels like trouble. When he asks her to do something that could hurt someone who (seems to) care for her, she starts to question him a little bit. Who should she be loyal to, the Lorders/government side of her society—which is controlling, menacing, and the power behind Slating—or the rebels, whose extreme violence seems to be a sincere push for freedom? She doesn't have all of the pieces to choose correctly.
 
In fact, "figuring this out" is the theme of this book. Figuring out what happened to Ben, who she can trust in her family, what kind of person Nico is. But also things about herself that are crucial. What is memory, what is imagination? Who is she, really, despite what Nico tells her, or what her new mother says, or her psychiatrist? Is the physical violence that rises up in her without conscious thought a thing that defines her, or just something someone taught her?
 
This series toys with some really big questions. What price freedom? Is government control worth an exchange for safety? Does individual freedom trump the greater good? Is violence ever an answer? It doesn't quite answer them in the second book, but it digs at them a bit. I hope the third book, Shattered, answers them.
 
I'll write about it after I've read it!

Training for Ragnar

This June I'll be running my fourth Ragnar relay. After last year's fall, I seriously debated about whether or not I'd run it again, but in the end, it was the fact of the fall that made me decide: yes, once more. I want to feel like I got myself back up on the horse, so to speak. 

Ragnar 2011 sparkle 01
(The girls of my first Ragnar team. I had cute leg warmers too, but didn't have them with me for this picture.)

I confess that I'm pretty nervous about this Ragnar. First off is that ankle, which I don't really trust as much as I should. Mostly, of course, that's all in my head, so I'm trying to trust in my body again. Second, I'm absolutely freaked out for the night run, which I suppose is to be expected. It's the thing I have to conquer, the thing I won't let kick my butt, but seriously: stressed. Third is the fact that my last leg has had two miles added to it. So while the beginning is a steep downhill (which stresses the legs but not the lungs as much), the last 1.5 miles (when I'll be tired and hot and tired and probably thirsty but definitely tired) are flat.

Ragnar 2011 21 amy last leg
(The first year I ran Ragnar, there was still snow at the top of Guardsman's Pass. It was so beautiful! Plus, the snow cut the heat so that it was almost chilly when I started.)

So to calm my nerves, I've been trying to train thoroughly. This is hard because my ankle still is weak, and I don't want to stress it out with too many miles too quickly. On the other hand, I can't show up and expect to finish a ten mile run after also running 5 miles and then, just before that, 8 (uphill!) miles. I need to be prepared.

And I imagine I'm not the only one. So I thought I'd share some training tips for Ragnar that have helped me before and are helping me now.

1. Find some routes that are close to the elevation gain/loss you'll be running. There isn't a road anywhere near me that is exactly similar to the Old Snow Basin Road (average of 318 feet of elevation gain per mile) I'll run on my first leg. But I'm training once a week on Squaw Peak Road, which averages 400 feet of elevation gain per mile. A little steeper, a little shorter, but close enough.

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(My second year running Ragnar. I wanted a picture like this of all of my teammates, but I didn't get it. Sadness.)

This is especially important if you're not used to running uphill and you have uphill miles on any of your legs. And it's as much about training your mind on how to run uphill for, say, an hour, as it is your quads and hamstrings. In fact, I think it's more about mental endurance. You have to settle into a thought pattern that doesn't rely on "this will almost be over."

But it also applies to the legs that have downhill miles, which brings me to tip number two.

2. Practice downhill running—but also go to the gym. Running downhill can be fun because it gives you a sense of speed. But it's also pretty rough on your legs. If any of your relay legs has noticeable downhill stretches, put in some downhill running during your training, but not too much. Running downhill is far more about strength than anything else, because you don't have to work as hard aerobically (unless you are a complete and utter bad ass who dares to sprint downhill, and if that's the case you probably don't need advice from me!)

IMG_4158
(Our cute silver sparkles for year 2. I'm not sure who had the idea of taking a photo of our sparkly bums...but you get some crazy ideas when you're tired.)

So run downhill, but also fit in some weight lifting every week that focuses on your legs. When I'm running downhill, I feel it in my quads, but the next day my hamstrings are sore. Technically, you use both muscles in different ways for downhill running. So make sure to build them up—calves, shins, glutes too. Do some abs and back workouts as well, as it's surprising how much of your core you use running downhill.

3. Go longer than your longest leg. My longest leg is 9.8 miles, so I've scheduled my last long run to be 11 miles long. I don't do this when I'm training for a regular race, only Ragnar, because with a regular race, you just run once (obviously!) If you've run longer than your longest leg, you'll be a little bit more used to running through the fatigue. I've read some training plans that have you running the total of your three legs, but since for me that would mean a 23-ish mile long run...I'm not doing that. 

IMG_4670
(Finishing up my first leg last year. The last run I ever did without fearing for my ankle!)

4. Do some two-a-days. I am aiming for at least one and sometimes two days a week when I do two aerobic workouts. (I also have some days when I run and lift weights.) The first time I ran Ragnar, I didn't do any two-a-days at all, so I was a little bit freaked out when I started my second run and my body felt so sluggish. Help yourself mentally prepare for the fact that the second run will feel harder than the first (and more so on the third!) by doing some two-a-days.

5. Cross train. This year I am hiking for my cross training (and some of my two-a-days are a morning run and an evening hike). That's because my cross training is also an effort to get ready for hiking Half Dome in July. In previous years I've done spin classes and elliptical workouts. Your body needs the change in movement that you get from cross training.

IMG_4672
(One of my favorite Ragnar photos.)

6. Do a night run. Now, I confess: here is where I am suggesting you do something that I won't do. I'm too freaked out by the night run to do any night running, because I just don't want to risk a fall in the dark. But! If you've never done a night run before, you should do one before your relay. It's sort of strange, running by the light of your headlamp, and it takes some getting used to. Plus, you can get your safety vest properly adjusted so you don't have to have a volunteer at the water table fix it for you in the middle of your run. (Not that I ever had to do that because my tail light was giving me a bruise on my collarbone...)

IMG_4134 amy night run 4x6
(The start of a night run. Sparkle totally helps!)

7. Do some afternoon runs. If you usually run in the cool part of the day, the heat of a Ragnar run will wipe you out. Get in some hot runs, even if they're only three or four miles, so  you start to recognize the changes your body makes because of heat. In a similar vein: try out some sunscreens! My favorite one for running is Neutrogena Sport Face because it goes on very light and doesn't feel oily. Also, get a chapstick with sunscreen, and make sure it doesn't have that chemical sunscreen taste. My favorite is, surprisingly, the Gap lip balm. I know! But it comes in some awesome flavors. You feel remarkably less hot and thirsty if your lips don't feel chappy and dry when you're running. (I actually carry lip balm with me on longer runs.)

8. Run in what you're planning to race in. This goes for every race, probably. But triply so for Ragnar, because what if that really cute new ____________ chafes somewhere? You still have two other legs to get through, except now with a sore chafed spot. Minimize any chance of a sore spot, because you'll be tired...and tired + unnecessary sore spots = misery.

IMG_4718
(
At the finish line last year. Bruised, scraped, torn, and utterly exhausted and yet...sign me up again!)

9. Taper during the last week. Do your last long run eight days before the first day of the relay. Lay off from the two-a-days and just do flat, short-ish runs (3-5 miles is my plan, but it will depend on the length of your legs). Sleep a lot during the week before the race, and hydrate too.

Have you ever run a relay? What training tips have I forgotten?

 


Italian Moment #1: Santa Maria degli Angeli e dei Martiri

Nearly eight months ago, I was busy preparing for my trip to Italy. And here I am, more than half a year later, having written almost nothing about a trip that changed me in some specific ways. Partly I haven't written about Italy because I want to do it really, really well, and that goal makes it feel intimidating. Partly it is because I'm still working on processing all of the photos I took, and I've gotten bogged down in that, too.
 
Part of it is just looking for a word to describe the sensation I had throughout the entire trip. Or, at least, one of the sensations. I've written about this a little bit before. The way that when you stand in a place that is old, there are so many layers of story there, and if you could just figure out how to make them like paper, somehow, so you could flip through them and see all the stories, you would get a glimpse of humanity, all if it happening in various times but in one specific place. I want to know those stories, and you can almost, almost feel them there, tingling just outside the range of what you can touch. I think of this feeling as the time story (if I were clever I'd have a better name for it), and it enveloped me completely in Italy. I can't write about how it felt to be there without the time story, even though I'm not sure that anyone else knows that feeling.
 
Becky has written about some of our experiences in Italy, and reading her writing takes me right back. Rather than follow her chronological approach, though, I think I'm going to write about my Italian Moments, the experiences that changed me, taught me something, brought me wonder or newness or understanding. The small-ish stories within the larger one of a week in a foreign country that, when the general details fade, will remain vivid.
 
The day we first arrived in Italy, Becky and I had planned on jumping on a train (our hotel was just down the street from the Rome Termini train station) to the coast, because how could we be so close to the sea—a sea we'd never been to!—and miss it? But when we arrived at our hotel (after a ride from the airport on a bus with a tour guide that told us the history of many of the places we passed), there was a mix up with when we could check in, and a delay, and by the time we'd sorted everything out, found (and figured out!) an ATM for some Euros, and eaten (a pizza which was its own Italian Moment), we didn't have enough time. Some of the other people in our tour group went up to their rooms to rest before dinner, but I was having none of that. I can rest at home, but who knows when I'll be in Rome again? So Becky, my mom, and I decided to explore a little bit.
 
During our bus ride to the hotel, the tour guide had pointed out the historical city walls, the ancient ruins of baths and Roman towers, many churches, an obelisk or two. But the building that grabbed my imagination immediately was the one that used to be a the Baths of Diocletian but was remodeled into a basilica after a priest had a vision of angels in the ruins. Remodeled into a church by Michelangelo. If that isn't a place that would be full of time stories (first a campo, then a Roman bath, then a ruin, then a church), then no such place exists. But I had no idea where, in all those stories told by the tour guide, the Basilica of St. Mary of the Angels and the Martyrs was.
 
So when we wandered up the street and around a few corners, and I could see a seemingly-ruin in the distance, I wanted to go that way, just in case, and then I sort-of happy danced because there it was, the very basilica I wanted to go inside. To get there, we walked down a sidewalk with chain link fencing, and old grass and crumbled walls on the other side.
 
_MG_9738 mary and the martyrs 4x6 outside
Being me, I didn't just want to go inside the church, I also wanted to wander in those ruins, which looked like the old grounds of the church. I didn't get to, but that is OK because I did get to go inside the church.
 
To enter, you go through one of two doors, which look like this one and are set in the austere and ancient brick wall:
 
_MG_9743 mary and martyrs door 4x6
 
Here is an alternate view of the doors. I think they are beautiful, the way the image melds into the metal. They aren't old—they were installed in 2006—but I didn't know that when I saw them. They are nearly a physical representation of my idea of the time story, characters nearly visible but fading into the past.
 
_MG_9742 mary and martyrs outside doors 4x6
 
October days in Rome aren't scorching hot. But the church still felt comfortably cool. With my very limited traveling experience, I had no idea of what to expect, especially since Mormon churches—the staple of my life—are so very utilitarian. Functional, but not especially beautiful. This church was something completely different. Contrast, in fact, felt like the point of the experience: the contrast between the just-barely-muggy smog of Rome and the clear, cool air inside the church, and also that between its entrance and its interior. From the outside—the only church I experienced that didn't have an impresssive facade—it just looks like a ruin. So you'd never know, unless you went inside, what it held:
 
_MG_9744 mary and martyrs inside 4x6
(Photographing churches is hard. All those different light sources! I didn't do it very well.) 
 
Marble and other stone columns and facades. Statues of angels.
 
_MG_9745 mary and martyrs angel 4x6
 
Reliquaries, paintings, cathedral ceilings. An enormous pipe organ. The Meridian Line, which is a sun dial. And everywhere, that light. Hushed voices. This stained glass window, whose purple hues I tried to capture in a photograph but failed miserably:
 
_MG_9754 mary and martyrs stained glass
That window. I stood and looked at it forever. To me, it was the thing that made the basilica feel the way it felt, a sacred space lit by colored light.  
 
Someone clever on our tour said something about being tired of seeing churches. I confess, though, that I didn't ever get tired of seeing them—mostly because I hoped each one would replicate the feeling I had upon walking into the Angels and the Martyrs. Maybe it's impossible to replicate, though, because I never felt it exactly that way again. It was a rush of all things combined: the beauty, the light, the colors, the images, and the layers of time stories. How many people have prayed there and found answers or resolutions or just a lingering feeling of peace? How many stories. This was mine: as I stood in the center, looking at the lavender stained-glass window, I thought about my Mormon faith. Of the questions and doubts I have, and of the sureties as well. I thought about the funeral I went to the month before, in my father's childhood church, and of what I wish my church could give me but doesn't. I thought about how it feels to know something is true, even when that truth really is unknowable.
 
About what creates the manifestation of the spirit.
 
Becky always says that if she wasn't a Mormon she'd be a Catholic. (My response is always, "I'd be a pagan witch," which is only half-joking.) I didn't understand that until I stood inside my first renaissance church. The art and the images and the beauty and the statuary: I think my church sees that as a sort of false worshiping. As if to have art in a church means we would be appreciating the art or the artist instead of the spirit. In excess, I understand this (especially after touring St. Peter's Basilica). But how it seemed to me in that moment that what the beauty inside the church did was to facilitate—to make it easier for me to feel an outrushing of the spirit. Not based on scripture or sermon but just on pure, ethereal emotion. Not the contrast between religions, but the similarities, the truths they each hold.
 
We explored every inch of that church. There was even a small courtyard we could enter. It had a statue of Galileo and this little grouping of Christ, Mary, and Joseph:
 
_MG_9761 mary and martyrs courtyard 4x6
(I'm not sure what I loved most: the pattern on the floor, or the lettering on the sign.)
 
I didn't really want to leave, in fact, because I didn't want to lose how it felt. We did, eventually, leave. We admired the Piazza della Repubblica (which is just outside the church), walked past the opera house, and roamed around Rome.
 
IMG_9777 becky in rome 4x6
 
I loved walking around a city i didn't know, especially Rome, which seemed to have art and architecture and beauty around every corner. (I need to ask Becky if she has any pictures of me that day.)
 
We ended up at the Santa Maria Maggiore Basilica:
IMG_9779 maria magiori back side
 
That photo is the back side of the Maggiore basilica. Is it odd that the back was my favorite part? I wanted to climb the steps, but they were fenced off. It was a beautiful church, with an amazing stained glass window depicting Mary holding the infant Christ. Maybe I was too tired to appreciate it, but it didn't hold the same feeling.  
 
Maybe no other church can compare to your first basilica in Rome. But I will never forget how it felt to walk inside Santa Maria degli Angeli e dei Martiri. Not just for the feelings that I had and the questions that came to me, but for the first inklings of an understanding about religion and truth and how, perhaps, we are all just fumbling around in the spiritual level, wanting to know, wanting to understand something that will always be larger than what we can know or understand.
 
It was a serendipitous first Italian Moment for me. 

An Impossible Conversation about Churches

Weddings make me miss my dad.
 
Isn't that odd? It isn't just weddings in my family either (all of my Allman family events make me miss my dad), but every single wedding I've gone to since he died.
 
One of my Sorensen-side nieces was married last week, someone I'm not sure my dad ever even met, but as her dad walked her up the aisle, I thought about my wedding, and how my dad made me so late I had to rush through everything. I wondered how he felt, not seeing his daughter's wedding ceremony (I was married in the temple but he wasn't interested in the church at the time). This thought made my tears spill over, but luckily no one cares if you cry at a wedding. They just didn't know it wasn't over the bride.
 
I've been thinking about my dad quite a bit since then.
 
Back in September, I went to a funeral in Springville, the town where I grew up. It was for my cousin's husband, and since that cousin bought my grandma's house when she died—the house my dad grew up in—the funeral was held in the church my dad went to as a child.

Well, the church he was assigned to. I don't think he went there very often. In fact, just to confirm how I imagined that aspect of my dad's childhood, I asked my uncle if they ever actually went to church as kids. "Well, only a few times," he said. "In this very church, in fact."
 
The church's chapel has something I have never seen before: a stained glass window. Well, I mean: Of course I've seen a stained glass window. I see one almost every day, as my library has one of the county's most famous. But LDS churches are very utilitarian. There are meeting rooms and a gym and a chapel, a place for the primary to gather, and the youth, and the adults, but generally there isn't a lot of art. There is some on the walls in the foyer, but none in the chapel, where we hold our most important Sunday meeting, the sacrament meeting.
 
So when I walked into the chapel of my dad's childhood church, I was astounded. Stained glass windows!
 
I've noticed this lack of art before, but I've never really, really thought about this question: Why isn't there any art in our church buildings?
 
Why are our buildings so uniformly constructed, and so plain?
 
I've even researched a little bit, trying to find an answer, but I haven't gotten far. (I confess to wanting to find an essay or a talk on the philosophy of Mormon church buildings.) I imagine that it has something to do with humility, and with the desire to have our thoughts of worship be focused on Christ and the Spirit rather than be influenced by images. It probably also has something to do with our temples, which are much more awe-inspiring and beautiful than our churches.
 
I understand that, mostly. The desire to be influenced simply by the Spirit.
 
But I also confess that it makes me a little bit sad, this realization of our austerity. It makes me think of Anne Shirley, sitting in the purple light cast through the stained glass window. It makes me wonder if a church full of light would've been more appealing to my young self. Or if beauty instead of utility would appeal to me more even now.
 
It makes me wonder what my dad thought, on those few times he went to church and sat in the chapel with the stained glass windows. They weren't, obviously, enough to make him want to keep going. At least, not then. But near the end of his life, he started going to church, and reading the scriptures, and developing his testimony. It's probably a long stretch. But maybe he remembered—the images from the Book of Mormon on the windows of his childhood church, and that feeling that beautiful art gives you. The way an image made in paint, or pencil, or glass helps connect you to story, and through that connection the story becomes more vibrant.
 
And oh, how I wish. I wish we could sit down at a table somewhere together. Maybe in his backyard. Maybe in my sister's. We'd have some cake and I'd ask him what he remembered about going to church as a kid. What he thought about the stained glass windows. What he thinks, now, about our church buildings. If he understand the lack of art, or feels like I do...wishes that every church could be unique, with art and color and soaring ceilings, with oddly-shaped rooms and small, hidden corners. Maybe we'd also talk about church in general. I'd tell him a story about something funny at that wedding last week, and maybe even ask him what he felt on the day I got married. And then about what we were reading, and the hike I took last week. Also, if he likes the cake and would like some more, and maybe a drink, too.
 
I wish I could have that impossible conversation.
 
I miss you, Dad.

Book Note: Sea Change

 
SeaChange-WheelerWhen no fewer than four people recommend a book to me, I decided it is a must-read. This was the case with S. M. Wheeler's book Sea Change, which I had also read about in the usual places (wait...where else did I hear about it? NPR? Maybe...), so after the third recommendation, I insisted our library get it.
 
It's a fairy tale for grown ups that tells the story of Lilly, who is growing up in the household of parents who used to be merchants but were made into marquis and marquess under mysterious circumstances. Her parents love each other with that kind of love that destroys everyone: bitterly, and with much rancor. Plus Lilly is an ugly child, with a birthmark covering one side of her face which the people in the local village think is a witch's mark. In that cold house she grows up self-sufficient, able to read the moods of the most taciturn, but lonely until the day she wanders onto the beach from the castle and discovers a kraken.
 
Saves it, in fact, from the would-be ravishings of a famished seagull. Then she names him Octavius and they become friends, telling each other stories about their home environments. Lilly places a strict edict upon her friend: he can do anything he'd like, except for bringing down boats and eating humans.
 
Lilly's parents are not fond of her many excursions to the ocean, and her father eventually figures out what she is doing. As he had to kill an enormously monster-sized snake who had stolen her mother's heart (literally, her heart was in a dark cavern of one of its eye sockets), he thinks that affection for monsters must be genetic; this causes a further rift in their already-ugly marriage, and Lilly's mother eventually leaves.
 
When she is a teenager, Lilly realizes that Octavius's usual wanderings have lasted too long, and he is missing, and this is the thing that finally spurs her to leave, as her father, who has remarried and fathered another child, has been asking her to do. Her stepmother (who is nothing like the usual wicked stepmothers of fairy tales) helps her journey begin by telling her how to find a troll whose magic lies in finding lost creatures.
 
The price Lilly pays to find out where Octavius is (because he continued to follow her original edict of not damaging boats or hurting people, he has been captured and sold to a traveling circus) is enormous and brutal and forms part of the crux of the story: what are we, body or spirit? Is the I I consider myself to be inextricable from the familiar parts of my body?
 
Once she knows where Octavius is, Lilly finds the circus, but there is a wrinkle: the circus master will only give him back to her if she will get him a coat of illusions to help the dark lady of the wood fall in love with him; the wife of the tailor who makes the coat of illusion will only make one for Lilly if she brings her mostly-dead husband, who has been kidnapped by a witch, back to her; the witch will let Lilly take the tailor only when she gets back her skin that was stolen by the bandits who also have the tailor.
 
Which is a jagged path for her to take. And oh, my, that skinless witch, all muscle and weeping flesh and long, sticky hair. She had taken off her skin to wash, as witches do, and then the bandits stole it, so she lives in a house near their bandit hideout, trying to get it back by bribery, as without it her powers are weakened.
 
I might always remember the image of that witch.
 
Nathan asked me about this book when he saw me reading it, and when I told him the plot as far as I'd gotten—Lilly was living with the bandits, pretended that the witch had her under a spell, in an effort to get the skin back—he really wanted to know how it ended. Does she get the skin back so she can get the tailor to make the coat to give to the circus master to rescue her friend?
 
Oh, I wish I could tell you!
 
I will tell you this: the lettering on the cover gives you little clues to what happens in the story. (The tooth that forms the E in change is especially icky.) Once you've read the whole book, look at the cover again, and you'll see what each object means.
 
Because I think you should read this. Especially if someone else has recommended it to you already, or you read a review of it that sounded intriguing. If you like fairy tales for grown ups. If you want to be enchanted, haunted, disturbed, enlightened. (Once you see death you understand that this isn't unique. That doesn't make it hurt less, but it makes it so that you can hold onto it.) If you want to see how bandits have a tiny bit of good in their hearts, despite all their wickedness, and how witches perhaps do too. But mostly to ask yourself: what would I do for a friend?

Book Note: The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight

Stat propYou know me: I'm immune to the powers of your average love story. (I say "love story" on purpose, as I think it's an entirely different beast than "romance.) This is probably due to cynicism on my part, because most love stories make me roll my eyes and think, huh, what rubbish, it's never like that.
 
But maybe that is only because for me, it's never been like that.
 
I mean, the first-time-you-touch-his-hand flutters, sure. The gentle realization that yeah, we work. But it's never been super-romantic for me. I have loved and have been loved and I continue working on being in love in my marriage (which is something I think you never stop doing) but being swept up in the power and mystery and general sweep-me-away qualities of love as it's presented in novels. Probably this is also due to the fact that I did not marry someone who is traditionally romantic. I have to take my romance where I can get it, like the times he's come and scraped the snow off of my car at 9:00 on January nights so I don't have to do it at 9:15 when work is over.
 
Our relationship just isn't the sort you find in a love story. But then, are any relationships? I think it is especially hard for writers to create characters of the opposite sex. I think quite often they become projections of what the author wants the other gender to act like/think about/do/enjoy. The author gets to live inside that world while he/she is writing it, and then the reader gets to while reading. This makes sense if all you demand of your novels is escape. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
 
But again: you know me. I want a little bit more.
 
For me, the perfect love-story novel is one that looks at love realistically. It's not gooey or sentimental. It has a relationship that is true—meaning not always perfect.I'm way more interested in reading about how couples manage the not-perfect than I am in dousing myself in perfect, which so far in my life has been unattainable. Not your average love story, which is why I just don't read a lot of love stories.
 
Non-average love stories are hard to find. The ones that aren't run-of-the-mill, I-just-love-him-because-he-makes-my-heart-flutter kinds of stories. In fact, right now I can't think of any non-average love stories, but I'm certain there are some. The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight is one that is almost, almost non-average, and so it's a book you'll see me do a thing I don't usually with love stories: recommend it to people.
 
It tells the story of Hadley, who is flying to London so she can attend her dad's wedding to the woman he left her mom for. Which is a pretty awful reason to have to fly to England. So awful that she actually misses her flight and has to catch a later one. While she's waiting at the airport, she strikes up a sort of conversation with a boy named Oliver, and as the night progresses they grow closer, as they talk about some of the stuff in their lives. (Hadley much more than Oliver; you only figure out the details of his story after they get to London.) As you flip the pages, you get some flashbacks from Hadley, bringing you up to speed on her life: how her dad just went to England to work at Oxford and then how he just didn't come back, and how mad she is at him, and how her mom coped, and how she didn't.
 
Hadley hasn't really spoken with her dad since he decided to divorce her mom, so when she gets to England—unsure of what is going to happen with Oliver, and exhausted from travelling all night—it isn't exactly a smooth reunion. But an unexpected turn causes her to really talk with him, and he explains that he didn't mean to fall in love and break up her family. It happened, and he chose to go with the new love he feels with his new wife instead of the old love he felt for his wife.
 
(OK, maybe I am back to hating love stories. Because being that wife, the one whose husband falls in love with someone else and then goes ahead and marries her, is one of my deepest fears. Or revealing that, underneath my cynical tough side, I just really want the betrayals to be undone and the happily-ever-after to be found.)
 
She contrasts that with what she knows about Oliver's dad, a cheating bastard who never really loved his wife but who always pretended he did. Which is worse? (I'm pretty sure they can't be the only two options, right?)
 
I think the thing I enjoyed about this is that it grapples, a bit, with the idea of what love really even is. Can you chose? and how does it come your way? and what do you do with it when it does? And it grapples with these questions not just in Oliver and Hadley's relationship, but in all of the relationships in the book, even the distant ones, even the ones at the very, very beginning.
 
It does sort of put forward the concept that love at first sight is a real thing (I'm not sure I agree), but it wasn't just fluffy.
 
So, "I didn't hate it" hardly seems like effusive praise. But from me, for a love story, it is. The Statistical Probabilty of Love at First Sight: I didn't hate it!

Things I'm Loving about My Life Right Now

  • This blog post by Haley. Seriously...I am proud of her. Her first year of college is over and she didn't just survive. She didn't just learn stuff at school. She learned something about living, and she is thinking about what she learned. She's being conscious about what is happening, and that? Well, it just makes me proud. And relieved that she is doing so well. And hopeful about her future. (Not that I wasn't anyway, but...well, it's good to see, you know?)
  • Today's doctor appointment with Kendell's hip surgeon. It's hard to believe it's been nearly six years since everything changed. Someone said something to me recently about how Kendell and I must've had some incredible hiking experiences when we were newlyweds and before we had kids. Umm, no. We almost never hiked because just walking was painful. Seeing his doctor again brought back how hard it was, and how much that surgery has changed our lives. Isn't technology amazing?
  • Speaking of hiking. This summer we are going to Yosemite, where we won some spots in the lottery to hike Half Dome. HALF DOME. If you know me, you know I'm ridiculously excited for this. Can.NOT. wait! We have done a few short hikes (like..an hour, with no goal but to hike up for 30 minutes and then hike down for 30 minutes) but as we did almost no hiking last summer (one word: ankle), it is so refreshing to be back in this mountains. This week I hiked with my friend Wendy and it was lovely!
  • Speaking of that ankle. I wouldn't say it's better. But, it's better. Improved. I'm still walking a little bit during my runs—I run for three songs and then walk for two minutes. The strange thing is how the little walking breaks make the rest of my running faster. I did not expect that! It's so lovely to be back on the road consistently again. Even if my fast-walking makes me look like a maniac!
  • My boys. I'm not going to lie: we've had a few rough things lately. Things I feel pretty powerless over and don't know how to fix. But they are also just so good. In their very own unique ways. They make me laugh, they console me, they make me crazy but in a good way.
  • Can I blame this on my ankle too? Last year, I nearly completely ignored my garden. This year has been much better. I think I might have finally and at long last eradicated the devil flower, aka the delphinium in my front flower bed. I nurtured and babied that plant for years and then BAM, last summer it began its bid to take over the world. Or at least that flower bed. It even worked its way into the grass outside of the bed. But even though I've grimaced and gotten a sore back...I'm remembering that I love my yard.
  • Scrapbooking. I hosted the Write. Click. Scrapbook blog this week. Writing about scrapbooking makes me as happy as scrapbooking itself! Plus, I got to be on the Paperclipping Roundtable, which is a scrapbooking podcast. And that, well...SO awesome to be asked! (The topic is handwriting.) This is my second time and it was just as thrilling as the first. It feels a little bit like eating lunch at the popular kids' table. Except for nicer and with less risk of backstabbing!
    Just for fun, my most favorite recent layout:

Amy sorensen WCS scraplift no3

Or, OK, maybe it's this one:

Amy sorensen sweet slumber

(Come back, baby days!) (actually, no, not really. I'm OK. I'm glad I still have baby photos to scrapbook though!)

  • My job. I mean...I always love it. But one night last week I stood outside after we'd closed and talked to some of my co-workers about federal government land rights, and one of them said "if this were Florida there'd be a Budweiser sign blinking on top of Timp" and I thought...I work with educated, smart, funny, witty, caring, passionate, and creative people. I am so lucky.
  • Reading. You know how sometimes it feels like nothing you're reading is really AWESOME? I went through a spell like that about 18 months or so ago. But the dry spell is over, and I've been reading some books I've thoroughly enjoyed. (Which means, there'll probably be more book notes up on my blog soon!)
  • My pretty nails. My mom took me to get a pedicure and a manicure for my birthday. They still look so pretty! She insisted I get the gel nail polish, which was awesome until I realized I would have to go under the UV lights. That freaked me out a little bit. (As in: I had a little panic attack on the drive home thinking I'd just given myself skin cancer and all of my fingers would have to be cut off. I know. i'm Crazy.) But that polish is so hard and long lasting, and underneath it, my nails are being left alone (I'm not picking them) and so they are actually growing a little bit. Plus? My toenails are blue. With flowers!

What's good in your life?


Some Recent Layouts, Just for Fun

I'm blogging this week at Write Click Scrapbook, about scraplifting. So I've been thinking a lot about scrapbooking lately...and that made me want to share some recent layouts. Just for fun!

04 april no2 Kaleb I love you more than ice cream

This is one of the last layouts I made in April...the month I only made three layouts! I took a scrapbooking hiatus because I was determined to finish up some quilt tops. I finished Kaleb's dinosaur quilt (you know...the one I started back in 2010 shhhh) and made an enormous chevron quilt for Jake. I decided that because they are both so big (Jake's especially...100x120!), there was no way I could quilt them on my little machine. So I did something I almost never do: I took them to someone else to quilt. This feels a little bit like cheating to me. OK, a lot like cheating. Or like it will make the quilts mean less. Which is, in the end, silly because I still did everything else, right? (Someone talk me down.)

Anyway. Back to the point of this post, which is scrapbooking!

Every night when I tuck Kaleb into bed I tell him I love him more than something. Like...I love you more than avocados! I love you more than pedicures! I love you more than sitting at the beach! This always makes him laugh. When I saw this "I love you more than ice cream" card, well. I had to use it to tell that story.

05 april no4 amy italy san gimignano

I have been soooo slow at processing my pictures from Italy. There are so many that I start getting overwhelmed and then I just ignore them instead of doing the work. Then one afternoon (while I was sewing!), I was thinking about the lunch Becky and I shared while we were in San Gimignano. So I stopped sewing, came upstairs, and Photoshopped these pictures. I'd like to go back there and see the same view in springtime.

05 april no5 jake pine creek zion

I blogged already about this jumping experience...but I wanted to scrapbook it, too. I decided to write the journaling before re-reading what I'd written in my blog to make sure I took a different angle. Only sort of...but different enough. When I found the quote I used for the title I did a little happy dance!

05 may no01 haley time together 2014

This is a different kind of layout than I usually do. I wanted to push myself to use a little photo and a lot of white space. I'm not 100% sure I love this...except for the story it tells! but about that handwritten journaling. I started writing it in second person and then I switched to third. This will bother me every time I look at this layout, but as fixing it would require me to tear apart the entire thing, I'll swallow my embarrassment (I am picturing some future person reading this and wondering if I didn't know that you shouldn't swap point of view in the same paragraph) and leave it alone!

What crafty or creative things have you been doing lately?


The Women in My Life

At church yesterday, as I listened to the Mother’s Day talks (which were really good this year and did not leave me thinking I am the worst mom in the history of moms and have taught my children nothing but sloth and bad habits by my example) I started thinking about what I’d talk about if I were asked to give a Mother’s Day talk. The teacher who was the English Department Chair while I was teaching high school came into my mind. Her name was Elaine, and she was about the same age as my mom, and in my head she became my teaching mom. She nurtured me during those years, both as a teacher and as a person. She taught me how to be kind to my students even when I wanted to strangle them, when to be firm, when to let the consequences of their choices influence them and when to nudge the rules just a bit. She gave me advice and sometimes a listening ear and other times a hug. She gave me advice on my kids, too, and on my marriage, and on how to keep it all together as a working mom.

We aren’t related by blood, and I’ve only talked to her a few times since I stopped teaching, but she is one of my mothers.

I think a mother is more than just the person who gave birth to you. A mother teaches, takes care of, and loves someone else. Sets an example, and is selfless (sometimes) and imperfect (but keeps trying) and necessary (whether for a season or a lifetime). And in that sense I have had many mothers in my life.

Alas, I don’t have pictures of me with all of them! But I wanted to share a list of the women in my life right now, the ones who have mothered me.

I'm listing them in the order they came into my life. Of course, I have to start with my mom.

IMG_7007 amy sue 4x6 4 21 2013 bw

She has taught me many things. (You can see one list here!) One thing I didn’t put in the book that I made for her is that she taught me a strong definition of womanhood. She refuses to believe that being a woman limits your choices in life, and she taught her daughters that, too. But she also taught us plenty of the traditional womanly arts—sewing and cooking and taking care of children. When people go off on feminism and how it restricts women to a male-oriented life, I think about my mother, who taught me to be proud of being a woman in both aspects. Not to be swindled by a car mechanic  but also not to feel less than because of finding joy in, say, baking a cake.

My grandma Florence

Grandma florence amy

(On my 12th birthday. My mom sewed that dress for me. But the hair is all my own!)

She died in 1990, and before that she suffered from dementia caused by a semi-blocked carotid artery and so in that sense has been gone for even longer. But she was one of the highlights of my childhood. She taught me unconditional love in a way that will influence me for my whole life. Even though she’s not here anymore, she continues to mother me because I wouldn’t be as strong without having the bedrock-solid knowledge grandma loves me.

My sister Suzette

_MG_0108 amy suzette 4x4

She is four years older than me, which is just enough to separate our childhoods. We like different music and have different taste in clothes. But somehow this little gap is the thing that delineates our relationship: she’s my sister, and she’s always going in front of me, leading the way. She taught me things about newborns because she’d already had three when I had one. She taught me how to successfully take care of more than one child because she’d had four when I was just on my second. How do you survive your children’s teenagehood without your heart being ripped out of your ear canal? How do you just, in the end, let go and let them make their own choices?  I imagine she'll teach me how to plan a wedding, too. She has taught me these things and many more, just by going before me.

My sister Becky

_MG_9932 becky amy trevi fountain 4x6

Becky is my sounding board. She listens to my craziness and talks me through it. She understands the stuff that I think about: books and running and being outside and writing and relationships. She is my sister but also my best friend. She nurtures me by being constant: I know I can always count on her listening ear and wise advice.

My friend Chris

_MG_0073 edit 4x6 amy chris

We’ve been friends since I was 16…so more than half our lives. We’ve both gone through some rough things during the years of our friendship, and also plenty of joyful things. We don’t see each other as often as we’d like, but we always know the other one is there. Her example to me has been one of rising above. Living a happy life is the best revenge because it takes away the power of the bad things. It was a benevolent God who brought her into my life at just the right time.

My sister-in-law Cindy

(wah! I have NO PICTURES of me and Cindy together. Will fix that soon!)

It’s all totally her fault. She was my friend when I worked at WordPerfect, and her brother was coming home from his mission, and he’d definitely want to start dating. So she decided to set him up…with the girl who sat next to me! Kendell was not impressed by her choice and wanted to ask out that other girl…the one in the same pod (remember pods???). My friendship with Cindy blossomed into my entire adult life. (For what it’s worth: I also worked with Kendell’s dad and brother and some of his best friends, while he was on his mission and before I even met him.) She teaches me how to be a better mom because I swear: she is always prepared. If you’re somewhere and you need something she’ll always have it, and she is generous and helpful. And since we were friends before we were sisters-in-law, she is also still my friend. She’ll listen to me complain about my husband (her brother) and always take my side.

My mother-in-law Beth

JU9M4271 amy beth kaleb
(I thought I didn't have a picture of me and Beth together. Becky reminded me about this one, even though I have no idea how SHE knew I had this but I didn't!)

Another woman who is gone but continues to mother me. Beth was quiet and reserved, so it took me awhile to get to know her. But we loved each other as time went on. She taught me what a graceful and fulfilling role that “mother-in-law” can be. I always felt like she approved of how I raised her grandkids and that she loved me. I think about her all the time and try to follow her gentle example, and I think that when I do become a mother-in-law, she will fill more and more of my thoughts.

My nieces

_MG_6295 easter 13 the girls 4x6

(Nowhere near all of the nieces...but there are two in there...and a grand niece...)

I have seventeen nieces on both sides of our family. The oldest is almost 28 and the youngest just turned 3. As they have gotten older, our relationships have changed. They’re not just cute little girls I love because of their cute little girlness, but people I love because of their strengths, weaknesses, personalities. I love something specific about every single one of them, and they each make my life richer and more complete. I would be less of a person without their examples. Plus, they are starting to have babies now, which means they give me little people to sew for and be excited over and love and wish I were closer.

My daughter Haley

_MG_8187 graduation haley amy 3x4

Wait...isn't this backward? Aren't daughters supposed to learn from their moms? Maybe. Probably, and I hope Haley has learned things from me. But she has taught me many things, too. She and I love many of the same things—running and reading and listening to music and writing—but they are manifest in our lives in totally different ways because our personalities are very different. She is outgoing where I am quiet, flamboyant where I am wallflowery, exuberant where I am reluctant. She is swiftly decisive: she decides something, and then she carries it out. Being her mother has taught me many things, truly, but the summary is this: she makes me be more brave. She helps me stand up for myself and to have a stronger spine. Hers is an example of striding out (A first child is your own best foot forward) and being who you are without fear.

My friend Jamie

(gah! No photo of me and Jamie together? How can that be?)

One Sunday this lady I knew only vaguely from church (our ward boundaries had recently been reorganized) knocked on my door. She’d noticed that her son, Mason, was just the right age to be Kaleb’s hand-me-down supplier. You know: as Mason outgrew stuff, it fit Kaleb perfectly. So she had two bags of clothes to give me. We sat out on my front porch that day and talked forever. I immediately loved her laughter and her bright outlook and her way of showing her faith without being stuffy or judgmental. We’ve been friends from that second onward. She is an awesome mother and an example to me of living your faith because it is right and not because it is expected. Plus she makes me laugh!

My friend Wendy

IMG_9491 amy wendy 4x6
(this was taken at Beth’s funeral; Wendy played the piano for us.)

About the same time I met Jamie, I noticed Wendy at church. She was married but didn’t have any kids, and then she commented once in Relief Society about trying to adopt, and right then I thought I need to be her friend. We became closer by reading each other’s blogs and then in real life and now we talk or text almost every day. She is kind but in a strong way. She listens to me and always has good advice, but more than sharing her wisdom (which is vast), she has this trick of helping me find my own.

My friend Julie

(not a lot of photo ops at the library…)

I think that sometimes people are put into your lives because you need their very specific light in your life, and this is the case with Julie. We work together at the library, where she’s worked for about twenty years, so she helps me out so much there. But even more in my personal life. Her youngest daughter is the same age as Haley, so she’s a little bit farther ahead of me, but our struggles and happinesses are very similar. (I confess to harboring a secret desire for Haley to marry her son Zach, because how cool would it be to already be friends with your kid’s mother-in-law?) She is an opinionated sharer: she’s told me exactly what she thinks about many, many things (including my skinny jeans!) and I cherish this straightforward honesty that she has. We have nearly diametrically opposed reading tastes, but we can always find books for each other. We talk and laugh and make fun of things and complain about our middle-aged bodies. We encourage each other to give up sugar, and too much pasta, and spending time reading mindless stuff on the Kindle. I love our friendship.

I think the women who mother us come and go in our lives. I have learned to trust that even when I don’t know I need someone, life will bring me the women who make me better, teach me, nourish and nurture me. There are many other women I haven’t listed here—neighbors and old friends from high school and people I only know online—who also influence me in powerful, positive ways. I’m so grateful for the women in my life!


24 Things my Mom Taught Me

Last year we spent Mother's Day with Kendell's family, so I only talked to my mom on the phone instead of seeing her. I also posted a list on Facebook of ten things I learned from my mom. I was excited for her to find it and read it...except I realized a few days later, oh yeah, she must've not been kidding when she said she hardly ever checks Facebook.

So then I was sad she never saw it.

This year I'm making sure she gets my list. Except it's a little bit longer, and in the form of a mini scrapbook. It looks like this:

A sorensen 24 things 01 album

It's a 5x7 album, which is hard to find...apparently most of the world does not share my affection for the 5x7 photo. Whatever, world, I think it is the perfect size!

The title page:

 

A sorensen 24 things 02 title page

 

 

Those scripty foam thickers are some of my favorite scrapbooking supplies right now. I don't dare confess how many I have. Except, I bought almost all of them at the warehouse clearance when they were like fifty cents, so it's OK.

A sorensen 24 things 03 two pages fullSome of the pages look like this, with one 5x7 on the top and the journaling on the bottom.

 

A sorensen 24 things 05 two pages small

Some look like this, with a smaller photo and journaling on each page. I did it like this because some photos just won't work as a full 5x7, and so I could include more pictures.

I tried to include a mix of photos, but all of them include my mom. I think I got almost every family member in the album, although I only had my own pictures to work with so they are all mostly of me, my kids, and my sisters (in various configurations) with my mom. This is one of my favorites:

Suzette amy sue becky mothers day 2010 5x7

Every time I put together a retrospective album like this, I wish I had more pictures. I get embarrassed to ask people either to take a picture with me or just to pose for a picture. But when I was working on this, I encouraged myself to get over it—despite Someone's (cough*KENDELL*cough) complaints that I take too many pictures...I don't. You might never be able to have enough.

And, just for fun, here are the 24 things:

1. Never buy something full price. It will always go on sale.
2. You should cook dinner for your family whenever you can.
3. They won't be babies forever.
4. How to sew a (fairly) straight line.
5. How to make caramel and fudge, and how to dip chocolates.
6. Take pictures. And be in some of them, too.
7. How to eat artichokes.
8. Kids should go to the library often.
9. I am braver than I thought I was.
10. It's important to look nice.
11. It's just as important to BE nice.
12. You don't have to know how to do everything, you just have to be confident enough to try.
13. It's not Christmas without a new book.
14. Be nice to your sisters, you're lucky to have them.
15. Try new things.
16. Being a woman should never limit the things you do.
17. Plant flowers.
18. Make a wide variety of cute things.
19. Go for walks. Go on trips. Go to bed!
20. Going through the drive through in your PJs is OK. (Even if you run out of gas and have to be driven home by a policeman.)
21. You can never have too many shoes.
22.How to bake chocolate chip cookies. And coconut cake. And brownies.
23. Always serve vegetables.
24.Family matters most.

What did you learn from your mom?

Happy Mother's Day!