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October 2009
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December 2009

on a Rant

Ok, yeah, I know: It is shocking. Surprising. Utterly unheard of. But: I am in a funk.

Funk as in grumpy. Funk as in: the thought of putting up my Christmas decorations makes me want to scream, slit my wrists, and then take a nap. Funk as in: ZERO ideas or enthusiasm over shopping. Funk as in: I don't want to go running, I don't want to go to the gym, I don't want to do anything except eat Hershey's kisses.

Funk as in not at all fun to be with.

I mean, hello? I didn't even write about what I'm grateful for, which I usually do in November. We ran out of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving (I think I had one tablespoon of them) and I am still annoyed about it. Thanksgiving is usually my favorite holiday (because it isn't about "what did YOU get" but just "what did you bring to put on the table?") but this one ended with me feeling out-of-sorts and superfluous and old. I finally, a few days after Thanksgiving, finished the Thanksgiving quilt I started six weeks before last Thanksgiving, but I don't even care (in fact, I am annoyed by how I arranged the squares and am thinking about dumping the entire thing into the D.I. box).

In the immortal words of Nathan: what the?

I feel like everything has already been done. Like I am remembering my life instead of living it. Books haven't made me happy, and poems have failed me, and even writing itself hasn't snapped me out of my funk. The occasional long walk I've taken with Kendell gives me a bit of reprieve---for about three minutes. Partly it's the weather: the nothing weather. The fall colors are gone, but it's cold. There's no snow. It's just brown and chilly and grey and dry and indefinable: nothing weather. I hate it. It makes me feel like the world is coming to an end.

Coming to an end tomorrow.

And the dumb thing is, my life is just fine. Kendell has a job (for now!) and I have a job. Our kids are healthy. We are all OK. Don't get me wrong: I could catalog my woes. But in general, in comparison, I have nothing to complain about. And it's not even complaining, really. It is just persistent, stubborn funk. Funk that won't lift.

Anyone want to come and slap me?


How Good it Feels

I didn't want to stay at church today. I taught my Sunday school lesson to my 14- and 15-year-old kids (who I have a great affection for), but then I wanted to go home. Putter around my quiet house, maybe start some dinner, or read my novel.

Except, Kendell's still not going to church yet (too many germs), and Nathan was at home being his helper, so the house wouldn't have been quiet anyway. Instead of going home, I just felt trapped. Trapped and frustrated and annoyed.

I've been trying to put my finger on why it is I am feeling so closed-off and crusty lately. Frustrated all the time. I realized that a big part of it is having Kendell at home all the time. That probably sounds awful, and I don't mean it as a criticism of him. This recuperation has been 1000 times easier than his hip surgery was. He's been mostly patient. But he has different ideas about what to do during the day, and suddenly the time that was mine has become ours.

I am ready to have my time back.

I talked myself into staying for the last hour of church, though. I had a feeling: stay. I sat by a good friend, and you know: I think we might have listened to five sentences of the lesson. For the rest of the time, we whispered to each other, stories and troubles and triumphs. We got teary eyed and caught up in giggles. We discussed Big Questions and tossed off sarcasms. (Well, mostly me with the sarcasms. She's much nicer.)

I'm certain that, had I listened to the lesson, I would have learned something worthwhile. But I also know this: I needed that hour of conversation with a friend. It's hard to explain, because all we did was talk. Just conversation. None of my frustrations went away. But I left church feeling better: less shuttered, more able to deal.

Aren't friends wonderful?


Funny (and true, 'fess up) Even if You Heart Twilight

I have very complicated feelings about the Twilight/Stephenie Meyer phenomenon.

One day I might even blog about them.

Until then, please read this list of the twenty lessons you can learn by reading the series. While you're at it, take a look at the little video at the top of the list, too. (Unless you are easily offended.)

And tell me it's not the funniest thing you've read in a long time. Or heard.

Funny. And true. Sadly true. Plus I can think of a few more.

But would you still love me if I wrote them down?

With that I am re-entering the Black Friday shopping frenzy. Help me. 


15 Minutes

I'm not sure what this says about me, but one of my favorite things about life right now is taking a break at work. It's this little pocket of time that's deliciously and entirely mine. My kids are at school or at home, my desk at work is covered, but I'm not at a computer, I'm not by a phone, I'm not reachable unless you know the secret library break room location. I get some fresh water (there's pebble ice!) and a little snack (a handful of cashews, or maybe a cookie, or right now I have some fresh pomegranate in the fridge), and I do what I can't do anywhere else: I read without an ounce of guilt. Guiltfree because for ten or twelve minutes (depending on how long it took to get my water), I'm not beholden to anyone. It's lovely and peaceful and quiet.
 
Sometimes I don't even go to the break room. The city center, where our library is located, is beautifully landscaped, with lots of old trees, and plenty of small, square tables in the shade. In the median seasons (fall and spring) it's a little green oasis, with hints of appropriate seasonal color. Even in the hottest summer, the shade makes it perfect.
 
Last night, I took a quick walk outside for my break. They've turned on the Christmas lights; the air was cold and still, with that crackling, starry energy that comes on clear winter nights. I just walked, my headache slowly drifting away, across the crisped-with-frost grass. Let my thoughts drift, too, my worrisome thoughts: Kendell healing, and the ever-present "what if he gets laid off," and what if my kids have inherited his heart problem, and Christmas, and my usual rounds of self doubt and self criticism: all away. I stood under a twinkling pine and thought about how light does this double thing, makes the landscape feel both more elegant and cozier, all at once.
 
I stayed out until I couldn't stand the cold anymore, and then I went back in to my library desk, refreshed in the exact sense of the word: made fresh again. No matter what I do during my break, I feel that sense of rejuvination, and it carries me through more than just one day. I wish every mother could have 15 minutes, guilt-free, every day. It's amazing what 900 seconds can do for you.

Win!

My Christmas writing class at Big Picture Scrapbooking, Gift of Words, starts soon. I love this class because it emphasizes something I feel so strongly about: Writing down how you feel about people so those emotions aren't as easily lost.

Plus there are lots of tips for writing your Christmas gifts. (You know: instead of buying them!)

If you're interested in winning a spot in my class, check out the Big Picture blog before Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. Leave a comment, be entered to win! 


Running Constellation (Moab Other Half Race)

"The bus will pick you up at 6:30 a.m.," the race information stated, but really, the bus didn't come until seven. That meant a half-hour of standing, shivering, in the cold desert morning. Behind me, the sun was just beginning to blue the night sky; in front of me, Orion blazed, bright as midnight, nearly setting behind the dark cliff. Orion is a hunter, not a runner (even though he chased the Pleiades across the sky), but he gave me a bit of courage at any rate. I'd been hunting something for the past year, after all: the achievement of a certain goal.
 
Last year, when I was training for the Snow Canyon half marathon, I had a thought: what if I could run more than one half marathon in a year? What if I pushed myself and ran four? I consulted the Internet for possibilities, and my nebulous plan began to take shape. Snow Canyon, then the Provo Half ; Hobble Creek in the summer, and Moab in the fall. Each race was a dot, a destination, a thing I drew a line toward as the twelve months progressed. The races kept me running even when I didn't want to run. The goal became my own personal constellation, a shape drawn out of seemingly-random dates.
 
Although I didn't get to run the summer race I wanted (Hobble Creek filled up in something ridiculous like 3.5 hours, so I did Provo Canyon instead, and I am still trying to cope with the fact that the race Ts were printed with the wrong date), I still kept running. The line drew me forward, the dates coming as my mileage increased, and seemingly-all-of-a-sudden I found myself in Moab, at the beginning of my last goal race, waiting for the bus. Listening to the other runners around me, looking at Orion, thinking about the nature of goals and achievement. I had my large goal (the four races), but to accomplish it, I had to break things down into smaller pieces, individual goals that made the larger one possible. The goal that drove me the most between race three and four came about because of a surprise: as I trained, and did a little bit of speed work, an odd thing had happened. I got faster. So I set my last small goal: I wanted to complete the Moab race in under two hours.
 
Now, honestly, there are lots of runners who would roll their eyes at that goal. I know plenty of people who run four (or five or six) full marathons in a year, with consistent seven-minute miles. They qualify for the Boston marathon. They log 100+ miles in a week. So my four halves must seem paltry in comparison, and my sub-two-hour goal? More than a little silly, because that requires only a 9:04 pace. I know that, compared to them, my little achievements are just that: small. But really, running is something personal. Unless you're one of the elite runners who has a good shot at actually winning the race, you mostly compete just with yourself. Plus, it's all comparative; I listened to one group of first-time half-marathoners on the bus, for example, who were discussing their goal: finish the distance.
 
And honestly, the "my goals are pitiful" doubts were out voiced by a louder complaint. Had I been selfish during those twelve months of training, putting my running needs before my family's? I invested both money and time in no one but myself. If I were a good mother and wife, would I have a compulsive need to accumulate milage and race Ts? I need to always have my "thing" that I am trying to accomplish. Or, the even bigger question: what to name the fault in me, the weakness that requires a race in order to keep running. Why can't I just run a few miles every other day and be content—why do I need a race to work toward?
 
What I can't make the person whose questions were a loud voice in my head understand is just how exhilarating a race is. Even when you're not riding the bus with a girlfriend, even when you're shivering in the cold waiting for the gun to go off, there is just something about a race. Other people's energy fills you up. You get to run a road you've never run before—and it's usually a beautiful one. A race gives you motivation because it isn't nebulous or vague, like running a few miles every other day is. It lets you have a process and something to work towards.
 
Plus, there's always a T shirt, even with the wrong date.
 
Finally, the buses arrived to take us to the start of the race, and I turned resolute: whether or not I had been blindly selfish over the past year, the only remedy was to run the best race I could. So I silenced the "you're selfish" voice and I hushed the "your goals are pitiful" voice. I put my head on the window and watched the scenery color itself, from bland pre-dawn shades to the burnished-with-new-sunlight the rock walls took on. The Moab Other Half Marathon (called the "other" half because the original, and more widely-known, race is run in March) goes down the scenic Route 128, a canyon carved by the Colorado River. Moab landscape
I wish it had a better name, something that explains how scenic it really is. The early settlers called it the "Heavenly Stairway" but I'd like to know an intricate and earthy Native American name. Narrow spots, and wide, sandy meadows; blind corners that open to views of towers and mesas. Some of the cliffs are sheer, some the tumbled accumulation of massive boulders, but all are red sandstone. Moki holes and desert varnish, the white La Sal mountains sometimes topping the red distances, the sage-colored Colorado slow and wide and constant. I don’t think I’ve run in a more scenic space.
 
The race starts at the skeleton of an old bridge. There were hot chocolate and coffee, big metal cans holding fires, and long bathroom lines. I took a few gulps of warm beverage, made it to the front of the bathroom line, then stood by a fire when some other runner graciously gave me his spot. There was music, and a guy with a megaphone encouraging everyone to get their sweat bags in the back of the truck. This time, I’d been smart (unlike the Provo Half): I wore pants over my shorts, and a sweatshirt, but I still waited until the very last second to take them off. Then it was time to line up. Since my goal was to run nine-minute miles, I lined up by the 8:30 pace sign, hoping I’d find someone to stick to who would keep me running just fast enough.
 
After the gun goes off, it still takes two or three minutes to get to the official start line. That affects your time, so I made sure to start my watch just as I crossed the line. There were Native Americans at the start line, beating drums, and for the first half mile or so, that was the pace I followed, passing (and being passed by) other runners. By the first aid station—mile three—I had found my pace and it was, surprisingly, much faster than I had expected, about 8 minutes and 45 seconds. I decided to do something I've never done before: walk through the aid station and take a few seconds to get more than my customary half-swallow of water into my body.
 
In mountain canyons, the direction is consistent: up the canyon, or down. So if a race is all downhill, I can deal with that. If it is all uphill, I can deal with that, too. Canyons in the desert, though, are different; they take you through a valley rather than up to something higher. What I loved about this course—and what made it the hardest course I've ever done—is that it's mostly rolling hills. The first few hills were no problem, but then other runners started passing me on the uphills. I'd pass them again going down. I kept pushing, though. I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to hold anything back. So I went as hard as I could up the hills, and as fast as I could down. I checked my watch every two miles, and I kept my pace within five or six seconds to 8:45. I walked through the aid stations, I drank water, I had my half Block every two miles.
 
I felt fabulous. My ITB didn't bother me at all. I felt strong and fast, lithe and nimble. Drawing energy from the desert. Even though it was probably rude—people passing me had to go around—I ran right down the middle of the road, on the yellow line. Up and down hills, through the gorgeous scenery. My running play list, set to shuffle, brought up just the right songs. I thought about how I'd trained for this race—fewer long runs, but five long hikes. I picked a person to pass at random, and then slowly gained on her, and then picked someone else. I kept up my sub-nine pace. I didn't hold anything back.
 
I felt like a runner.
 
Maybe for the first time during a race: I felt like a runner. A strong, lean runner.
 
And then I got halfway through mile eleven. Just a little more than a mile and a half to go. Suddenly my strong melted away. Suddenly fast passed me by. Suddenly I was running through mud, not air. Suddenly I had nothing left.
 
Running 7900 more feet seemed impossible. Running 79 more inches seemed impossible. I pushed forward through the mud of exhaustion by thinking of what I could blame it on: running out of water on yesterday's hike, not enough long runs, all those rolling hills I didn't train for, bad running karma brought on by passing others, hotel-room beds and how I never sleep well on them, not enough carbs or too much sugar.  I kept running, but barely. Everyone I'd passed passed me, having kept a reserve of energy for the end. I stopped looking at my watch and just went on hope that the rest of my miles had been fast enough to get me to my goal time.
 
The last little bit of the race turns off the canyon road. You run along a long, fence-lined dirt road that's the driveway for the Sorrell River Ranch. But it's not a straight shot. There's a 45-degree turn, and then another stretch, and then the finish line. That last bit seemed longer than all the other miles I'd already run. It stretched out in front of me, an impossibility. I kept running. I didn't pass anyone. I didn't look at my watch. I just pushed, as hard as I could, although it felt like nothing. The mud got thicker and thicker. I turned, finally. I saw the finish line. I pushed. I ran, but barely.
 
I passed the finish line, pushed STOP on my watch, and stopped running. I swayed. I didn't see Kendell, even though he is always at the finish line. I swayed, and then I tried not to sway. I didn't want to pass out. So I walked, and I looked for Kendell, and I finally stopped swaying, and I dared to look at my watch:
 
 
2:00:48
 
Forty-eight seconds. I missed it. I failed. I didn't achieve that goal that seemed, standing there by the Colorado river and trying not to sway or to cry, like the most important goal I could have ever achieved. Only I didn't. I stretched under a cottonwood tree and I wondered: how should I feel? Happy that I'd achieved the four-halves-in-a-year goal? Glad that I'd shaved three-ish minutes from my previous race time? Or downright disappointed in myself? Being me, of course I felt the latter. The litany of almost-good-enoughs in my life caught up with me for a few minutes, while I stretched there on the grass under the yellow tree by the river. I struggled to offer up the other ways of feeling as a dam to hold the flood back. It sort of worked.
 
I wandered around, looking for Kendell. Got some water, and a banana and an orange. Some chocolate milk for later. Finally I realized that he was probably back at the finish line, so I wandered back over there and found him waiting, right at the front of the line, camera up and ready. He thought I was running in pants, so he was watching for a girl in black pants, not black shorts. We laughed and I took a deep breath and showed him my time. I wanted him to be proud but I know he wanted me to achieve my goal too. I wanted him to tell me "that's OK, because how many people can say they've run four half marathons in one year?" and I wanted that to be balm enough.
 
Instead he said "You'll do it next time" and then told me how awful the parking for spectators was. But I wondered: will I? Will I do it next time? Will I ever be this close to my goal again? Did it take running four half marathons to get me that close, and if so when will I ever do that again?Moab half
I don't know. I was OK, though, with not bashing myself too badly on the ride back to the hotel. I was fine until Becky called, and I could tell in her voice that she was certain I had done it, and I had to tell her I didn't. Then I crumpled up on the hotel bed, the one I hadn't slept well on for two nights, and had an ugly cry. The cry that's full of disappointment, that gathers up all your failures into one lump of anguish, the one that leaves you exhausted and hopeless. Then I pushed myself up, took a shower, and went home, dreading the inevitable questions that would come. "How was your race?" people asked, and I hesitated before I could respond, every time. Wonderful and amazing, and at the same time, an abject failure.
 
That race was five weeks ago. Since then, I've gone running only twice. I don't want to lace up my shoes and hit the road. I can feel my strength and lung capacity dwindling. Maybe I just need a running break, need to take up another exercise for awhile. My heart tugs me back, though, to that feeling I had during the first eleven and a half miles. I want to feel like that again: fast, strong. Like a real runner. It was a sort of mythic feeling, somehow. Achievable only on rare days, when all the points become a shape, and the constellation was me, running in the desert, fast enough to catch something real.

Something Stinks, and It Isn't the Turkey Roasting in the Oven

On the top of my "geez, Amy, could you be a BIGGER loser" list today:

I was supposed to schedule the appointments to go visiting teaching* this week. On Friday. And then call my companion to tell her what time.

And I didn't remember to do either one of those things.

In fact, I didn't even think about visiting teaching until I noticed that my companion had called last night. (Probably wondering if, you know, I had done what I said I would do. Which I didn't. And now I am procrastinating returning her call and admitting how lame I am. Again.)

A phonecall I missed while I was resting my eyes after bawling them out all day. (A long story, which I will enevitably blog about, and let me warn you: It's not going to be a pretty post.)

I guess it could be worse: I could have called and made the appointments for Friday morning, and then forgotten them altogether.

Still. My companion (who is a very kind and gracious woman who would never say anything, but I am 100% certain she is thinking it) must think I am the lamest woman ever. Despite the fact that this week has been insane-crazy busy, I can't let myself off the hook. I am pretty lame. Especially when it comes to visiting teaching*, which I have never been successful at. I love the people I serve. I just can't seem to find the time I should be able to find in order to serve them.

And I guess this issue must really be bugging me, because when I sat down to write the topic I had in mind was the thrilling discovery I made at Walmart today (Tori Amos has a Christmas CD), and how it made my frantic cooking today for Nathan's Grandparents Party even better, and how I am crossing my fingers that the pumpkin cheesecake I made turns out, and how nervous I am to be attempting stuffing on my own, and how delicious the turkey smells.

But I had to get it off my chest: I stink at visiting teaching.

*Visiting teaching is something women do in the LDS church. We have a partner, and then three or four or sometimes just two women we visit each month. We talk about how they are doing, and sometimes give a gospel-related lesson, and then offer to help if they need anything. I don't think it's an official rule, but every visiting-teaching experience I've ever had has ended by someone saying "is there anything we can do to help you?" and then the person being visited (sometimes me) says "No, but thank you" or something similar. Although: I HAVE helped the women I visit teach, and my visiting teachers have helped me. It really is a good thing. When you do it right, that is. 


I Don't Know, Maybe I COULD be Stupider*

January, May, September: These are the months when the librarians' schedules are changed. During the first month or so of a new schedule, I'm a little bit on edge. I double- and triple-check the schedule before I leave work so that I know exactly when I'm supposed to come in next.

But holiday months are also a little bit crazy. People want to get away for the holiday, or they've got birthdays mixed in with the holiday (me!), or they just want some time off. So we all help each other by swapping shifts as much as we can (thus avoiding the need to use a whole bunch of precious vacation time). I love that everyone is willing to help, but it does make me a little bit edgy again. I don't sleep as well when I'm not exactly sure when I work.

Take this week: I'm covering part of someone else's shift so that she can cover part of my shift so that I don't have to work all day on Nathan's birthday. With me still? So last week, when I left, I triple-checked the schedule. I wrote down all my shifts.

And I wrote down the wrong date.

GAH! I thought I was supposed to work at 8:00 this morning. To make things easier for Kendell to be on his own without me, I got everyone up early so that the house could be uber-clean before we left. I swapped around the carpool schedule. I even managed a shower, and straight hair, and make-up. I even managed perfume.

I remembered that I am still not a morning person.

And then I got to work, and I looked at the schedule to see which desk I was at, and, yeah: not at a desk. Not at any desk. Not until tomorrow. And even though I got to come home to a clean house, the whole day before me, I'm still thoroughly annoyed with myself.

All that stressed-out sleeping and I still got it wrong.

Is there such a thing as sympathetic Alzheimer's?

Or could I be any stupider?

*Please be aware that I am using the word "stupider" with irony. I am aware that it is not a word, but it really works in that context, yes?


Poetry Night at The Cinema

Kendell and I went to see a movie tonight. (Maybe that was ill-advised and premature: he has been moaning in pain since we got back in the car, putting paid to the fact that I should have pushed harder that a movie was ill-advised and premature.) As always, what I loved about going to the movie wasn't  so much the movie itself, but the previews.

I love movie previews.

I seriously could just go, watch the trailers, and then go home. Of course, that would mean I'd never see any of the movies the previews made me want to see, but, well: I'm weird.

Still, it wasn't the trailers themselves that made me all blissed out tonight. Nope. It was the fact that two different poems were quoted in just one night. The first wasn't a trailer, but an add for Levi's jeans which quoted Whitman's Pioneers! O Pioneers. The second was a trailer, for the movie Invictus that, oddly enough, quotes the poem by William Ernest Henley.

I can't say I'd ever memorized all of the Whitman piece. I've read it, though, and little pieces came back to me: Colorado men are we! But I did, at some vague time, in some Brit Lit class, memorize the Henley poem, only I had forgotten it. By the end of the trailer I was saying the words under my breath: "It matters not how straight the gate/how charged with punishments my scroll/I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul."

Kendell thought I was weird, of course. Maybe the guy sitting next to me did too. But I don't care. I needed to remember those words right now, and the poetry gods gave them to me. Plus: tonight I heard two poems! In a movie theater, with people in it and everything!

My faith in humanity is restored.

(Plus I had a gingerbread cookie in my purse, which never hurts.)