I'm eating a cookie while I write this post, which might tell you something about how my no-sugar efforts are proceeding.

For the first sixteen days of this experiment, I was so strong. Literally zero, nada, zilch—no cookies, candies, cakes, snacks, or sugary beverages passed my lips. My goal was to make it until Easter weekend, when I would give myself a reprieve to enjoy the holiday. I did have fruit, but not an excessive amount. I started to retrain my snacking tooth, so I was reaching for easy veggies (grape tomatoes, snap peas, baby carrots), almonds, and the occasional cheese stick for a snack, instead of candy. I was doing OK and absolutely on track to make it to Friday afternoon.

In actuality, I made it to the Thursday before Easter. That day, I went to the gym and then I had to go grab some things at Target that Nathan needed for his track meet. Maybe it was not eating after I worked out, or maybe it was the weather, but I got the weirdest headache. I took 4 Advil and then, two hours later, four more, but it didn't budge. What's worse was how I felt: spacey and unattached to my body. Actually, what I felt like was the same as how it feels when you're about 17 miles into a 20 mile run, and you're entirely out of energy and, what's more, motivation.​ You have no idea what compelled you to run that far.

My headache made me question what I was doing, pushing myself so hard not to eat sugar.

Plus, sometimes sugar does help my headaches. (Sometimes it makes them worse, though. I didn't say it wasn't a gamble.) So after everything else—a relaxing bath, a nap, and a neck massage—failed to touch it, I crumbled.

I ate some sugar.

Some lemon almonds, to be precise. They sounded the best. Of course, they didn't make the headache go away either. (I ordered pizza for dinner because I could.not.stand. the thought of cooking that night, and after I ate a slice I finally felt better.)

They did unleash the hounds of hell my previously restrained sweet tooth.

Well, sort of. I didn't eat any sugar on Friday, and I held myself back until Saturday night, when, I confess, I ate some jelly beans and caramel eggs while I arranged the Easter baskets. We had pancakes and buttermilk syrup for Easter-morning breakfast and I made my two traditional Easter desserts:

(lemon cake and berry pound cake)

I ate Reece's peanut butter bunnies, more caramel eggs and some cookies 'n cream eggs I got for Jake (who's allergic to peanut butter) and a piece of each cake and then more lemon cake just before I went to bed. Then I took a deep breath and resolved to restart my resolution. I actually was sort of looking forward to it, since I was feeling that icky, I-ate-too-much-sugar feeling, the one that makes you need to eat some buttery popcorn or salty potato chips just to balance everything out.

And I did fabulous for two and a half entire days.

But today, I just wasn't feeling it. I can't tell you why. I just felt full of the despair and anxiety that nearly begs for sugar. And I didn't even try to restrain myself. I didn't try to distract my craving with a salad or a big glass of water or cleaning the kitchen. Instead, I sat in my bed, reading Brave New World​, and I ate candy. The eight little caramel eggs I had left. Then four Ghiradelli salted caramel dark chocolate squares. And a raspberry dark chocolate square.

And now I'm eating a cookie.

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, sugar-wise. I think part of what's making me feel listless about this project is that I haven't lost one single, solitary pound for all of my efforts. My clothes don't fit any better. I have felt a little bit more energetic...but not a whole bunch.

Yep. It's probably discouragement, plain and simple.

Hence the cookie. Since today is already shot to hell, why not finish strong? (And by "strong" I mean "maybe I'll eat another cookie. Or that last raspberry dark chocolate square.") Maybe I'll feel better about this tomorrow.